GOP Campaign Increasingly Resembling Unproduced Goldie Hawn Film
Eerie Parallels, Goldie Hawn Expert Says

by Andy Borowitz, The Borowitz Report, August 31, 2008

The GOP campaign for the White House is looking more and more like the screenplay for an unproduced Goldie Hawn film from the 1980's, a Goldie Hawn film expert said today.

Davis Logsdon, who teaches at the University of Minnesota's School of Film and is considered the world's foremost expert in the cinema of Goldie Hawn, said that in choosing Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be his running mate Sen. John McCain was taking a leaf from an unproduced Hawn vehicle from 1984 titled "Contestant in Chief."

"In the screenplay, an evil presidential candidate chooses the American he thinks is the least likely to catch on to his nefarious plans to destroy the country," Professor Logsdon said. "Enter Goldie, a former beauty pageant contestant, small-town mayor and hockey mom."

In keeping with the formula of Goldie Hawn movies in the 1980's, "She turns out to be smarter than she looks and exposes her running mate on national TV, becoming President herself in the process."

But Professor Logsdon cautioned that in the case of this year's GOP ticket, life will probably imitate art only up to a point: "In real life, if Gov. Palin becomes President she will most likely ban abortions, destroy wildlife habitats and blow up the world."

Elsewhere, Gov. Palin said she was looking forward to the vice-presidential debate, or as she called it, "the talent competition."